CHERYL FIDELMAN
The Conscious Codependence™ Coach
“The practice of true intimacy & sovereignty is to expose our open heart and broken heart at the exact same time. As we move through the process of returning back to ourselves, we find that the safety to do so lies within.” – C. Fidelman
I unconsciously gave 25 years of my life to Codependence.
That is to say that I was on autopilot. It was automatic. I saw other people as more valuable than me, more important than me and more desired than me.
I saw everyone else as gods that I felt diminished by. My mother looked at people this way and I acquired her lens. I felt like everyone treated me like shit – but maybe my feeling like shit came first and their behavior came second.
I don’t fully trust memories as an exact replica of what happened because the mind tends to bend and contort things with time & hindsight, but I do feel strongly that Codependence ran the trajectory of just about the first half of my life.
I’m free from it now and on a daily basis I support others in walking towards their freedom.
I knew it better than I knew myself. Codependence had been my leader, my master and the main director of my life.
It took being raised by a psychopathic mother who almost killed my father, 30 years of therapy, 10 years of 12 step programs, 30 plant medicine journeys, several year-long healing programs, weekend trainings, countless healing modalities, 2 wildly abusive boyfriends and over $100k to separate from my Codependence and return to my True Nature.
When I was 4 years old, Codependence came into my life.
At first, I didn’t recognize it.
But I remember as it slowly came in and I slowly left. And over the next 25 years, it grew inside me until it was me. It steered my beliefs, choices, decisions, relationships, identity and self-image.
It was my co-pilot. Well, actually, Codependence was the pilot and I definitely rode shotgun. It was stuck to me. It was me.
I experienced glimpses of me through the years as I fought for those moments of air beyond the subtly suffocating and dominating chokehold of Codependence.
I firmly believe that Codependence is a human epidemic and I’m out to normalize it. It’s not just reflected in obvious, extreme situations like substance abuse, financial dependency or overt physical or sexual abuse.
Codependence can be all over someone’s life and simultaneously be completely hidden from sight.
There’s overt and covert trauma. There’s overt and covert Narcissism. There’s overt and covert Codependence.
And it’s not all bad and wrong.
It’s when it’s unconscious and gives rise to automatic behaviors that we ourselves are blind to – this is when these things can cause harm to ourselves and to others. And it’s not always overt or obvious harm.
Our feelings of safety slowly erode, our self-worth slowly diminishes, we may be successful but not utilizing our passion or talent. Marriages become ripe with distance and conflict and healthy intimacy slowly becomes foreign – if it was ever there to begin with.
Living as a mildly numbed out and dissociated version of ourselves becomes normal and some of us spend time proving to ourselves and to others as to why living as a lesser version of ourselves is the only choice we have.
While I have tons of formal training, my own healing journey has taught me more than what I can list on a resume.
I have put everything I’ve learned about Codependence from a psychological, intellectual, somatic, emotional, soul & spiritual level into my programs and my particular coaching style.
MY VISION is to leave a legacy of a specific and expedited Codependence Recovery path for all humans.
I want to influence a diminishment of Codependence in the human condition such that more humans have a specific roadmap to ongoingly heal their own trauma, have access to deep, intimate, healthy relationships and live their lives as who they were designed to be.
Book A Call
If you’re wondering if NOW IS YOUR TIME to formally begin your Conscious Codependence™ Recovery journey with me and you’d like to see if one of my programs is a fit for you, please feel free to schedule your FREE 45 mins Conscious Codependence™ Consultation using my booking link below:
