Codependency and Self-Expression in Family Relationships
Understanding Codependency and Its Effects
In our codependent moments, we may only share with our family what we think they can understand. We may tailor our personality or expression to fit into their ears. We become muted versions of ourselves with our family (or certain members of it). We only share what we feel safe to share in anticipation of an off color response that they may have. Ultimately, we are not avoiding THEIR response. We’re avoiding how WE MAY FEEL as a result of their response.
In the Conscious Codependence™ Process, we learn how not to resist our own feelings. We learn how not to avoid other people’s feelings. And when we become adept at expanding our threshold for feeling, we no longer place our permission to share ourselves in other people’s hands.
The habit of hiding parts of our inner world from our family members is regressive – as is Codependency. The act of avoiding being misunderstood by our family keeps us in a younger version of ourselves around our family. It has us dissociate from our True Nature around them and, in turn, they cannot see what we are not exposing. We can evolve beyond measure when we no longer regress around our family.
Also read about Overcoming codependent behavior
Embracing Personal Evolution Beyond Family Expectations
I’m not implying that this is easy. It can be so automatic to slip into our Traumatic Identity around our family (or certain members). This is the identity that developed within us [during childhood] in order to survive their reality. It can be like an unconscious habit to be dominated by our family’s truth in order to find our own. As adults, it’s no longer a need to survive their reality.
An important rite of passage in adulthood is to no longer need our parents (or certain family members) to see and understand us. We now get to see and understand them while giving up the need for reciprocity. And by ‘understanding’ I don’t mean agreement. We don’t have to agree with someone in order to understand how they tick. In the Conscious Codependence™ Process, we get to have our reality and our voice survive and thrive in any environment and so do those around us.
